paid

with a painting of myself. too pretentious? 

I don't care,  it is still a beautiful painting from a fabulous painter. I am proud to call it my own.

fantastic(al)

thanks to my lovely emails from the NY Times Urban Eye section, I discover something new and gorgeous going on in the city I love from here in my suburban jungle (greenville is suburb, I don't care what you say).  Today I found this artist to inspire me. Ch-ch-ch-check it out

He uses embroidery to "subvert" the traditional images in classic toile fabric (a preppy favorite here in southern decor and sometimes even fashion).  What would my mother say if she came home and her couch was covered in clowns instead of 18th century courtesans (not really much difference in my mind, but i think she might be upset!).

Golden

These pictures are of Mr and Mrs Herbert Reading Danenhower. My grandparents.  They look like movie stars and last night we celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.  It was a great party (thanks to my mom, she is really the best hostess, Happy Mother's Day, Mom!) that started with a gathering at our house around 4:30, complete with the whole family and surprise guests for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres and lasted through dinner, dancing, and even some rock band until 2:30 am! 

Now even though I didn't make it as late as everyone else I had a great time before hand creating a video for them with pictures of their wedding, all their kids, grandkids, all the homes they lived in, and everything in between.  Looking through all those pictures made me appreciate the idea of memories and time spent with family.  Also, this may be a little vain, but my family is Gorgeous!  Just look at my mom.

This picture and others, especially the little medium format pictures (you know the old square ones with the white edge) made me really interested in buying a vintage camera like an old polaroid, or even one of the reproduction Holga lomographic things.  But look no further than my awesome dad and the attic!

my new pride and joy, kodak duaflex iv from the late fifties. complete with press type flash.  I have yet to see if it works but i ordered some film, so we will see soon! Also he thinks he might have an old video camera at work, the super 8 kind! I feel a new project coming on!

Daddy doesn't really understand my excitement about old stuff. I like getting back to basics lately, just living simpler.  I am always rebelling against something.  Maybe now I am rebelling against my gotta have it now generation.  Photography is the perfect example.  The newer the camera, the quicker you see what you have, and you can take any shitty composition and manipulate it later with editing software. Sure its handy and can produce something that looks nice, but where is the planning?  It seems to me that just as much as the digital age creates new opportunities for creativity, it also perpetuates procrastination and downplays the training and talent necessary to be truly original sometimes.  I love technology, I do. But sometimes it compromises art by passing something off as a piece of artwork when it really was just an automatic adjustment setting on photo shop.  This annoys me.  More later...

and hopefully photos too!

ps if anyone knows a good developer of vintage film let me know!

"Scotch neat"..."Double scotch neat"

I LOVE movies with redemptive themes. Especially ones that portray the most disgusting characters that even their mothers would find impossible to love, then life beats them to shit and then creates a turn of events so radical that you want to be their best friends. I think life is like that, people who are overcome things are so much more attractive.

ps there are lots of quotable moments from this movie, but i think my favorite is this:

"...he proclaims that he began to see a rhythm in everything... a pattern in the visual world around him.  You know, could SEE music."

encouraging thoughts with perfect timing

So i have been a little stressed out lately, mainly about money.  I am struggling to figure out how to live within my means and still enjoy life at my age.  And finding a job that pays more seems to be challenging in today's downward spiral of economic crisis.  So its really no wonder that my sleeping is fitful and anxiety level is super high.  But there are a few things that came to my attention yesterday that put a positive spin on things.

First, we received an email from the owner of the company yesterday with the most uplifting message.  She says that when she is fretting over something she clings to her husband's wise words: "Worrying is the opposite of creative thinking." Now for an artist, this alone had a loud resonance seeing that i cannot live without some sort of creative outlet each day.  But she went on to explain even further why this is true: "worrying constricts the blood vessels in the brain while creative thinking opens them up, allowing the blood to flow, carrying precious oxygen to all parts of the body, so that we function at our greatest potential."

She also encouraged us to think of the motto of the Outward Bound program, "The only way to get out of it, is to get into it." Get into what? Well for this wonderful lady, it was her passion to help the people of mexico, to share the joy of her finding treasures on her travels with other people and to build an awesome family business.  I admire her and her creative vision so much.  We aren't just schlepping jewelry, we are making little differences in the world everyday.

So what do I have to "get into" in order to get out of my funk? I have to get back to the one thing that has always been my constant stronghold. My faithful Lord.  Psalm 94:18-19 is a passage of great rejoicing in the the comfort of the Lord:

"When I said, 'my foot is slipping,'

your love, O LORD, supported me.

When anxiety was great within me,

your consolation brought joy to my soul."

These verses serve as a constant reminder to me that no matter what is wrong I don't have to be afraid to ask for help, i just have to do it! And getting into it doesn't mean i make million or change the world today, today it means the little things in preparation for the big stuff.... cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, working out. I have to get this stuff out of the way so I can change the world tomorrow!

Invigorating

I am spending the weekend visiting one of my favorite places to call home and am just feeling truly full of love.  I have been here about 25 hours and every minute has been filled with sharing stories of the last year with people I really care about and who care about me.

I am staying with four of the greatest women I have ever met.  I learned what living really means with these girls.  It doesn't matter when or where I see them they never fail to invigorate and inspire me with their faith, passion, interests, commitments.  this is them:

(sorry, I found this picture somewhere i don't remember and I like to picture myself in pink seat!) photo cred: B.Mollenkof

Coming back makes me realize how much I took for granted in my former higher elevation habitat.  Conversations that shape your life happen every few hours.  A person who you will know forever is around each corner.  Music that thrills your soul is played in live, impromptu mini concerts on a nice afternoon. The colors here are more vibrant, even the gray fog. Plus... you are blessed with a generous helping of homemade pancakes on Saturday morning. Why did I ever leave?

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Oh, yay!!! Zooey Deschanel has made an album with no less that the AMAZING M.Ward.  My heart overflows with joy when I listen to this album. It is perfect for driving the thousands of miles I am putting on my little car this spring.  It goes well with fresh air, new friends, and the daffodils on the mountain that I am going to see on Friday! more zooey here at the erin featherston fashion show with a classic:

But this upbeat soundtrack really suits life right now.  I am uber joyous.  I got into grad school! finally, a little direction.  I will be getting my masters in arts administration, concentrating on the non profit sector.  I will learn how to raise funds to make other artists' dreams come true and create programs to make communities and arts intertwine! I am so excited, I just need to find a way to pay for it.

I am just so happy that I am one step closer to the goal that will be the pinnacle of my career: having an article published in ArtForum.  One day ...